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Excerpt from: Volume Two (about a job in the Bath pub, The Boater)
Had it been sixty-three minutes past twenty-five on the thirty-eighth and sixteen-twelfths' Sunday of the month, and had I ducked a winged pig as I hopped on a pogo-stick across a frozen hell, then swung a cat the colour of snot about my head, launching it toward a mirror and a bag of salt as a pelican announced on the BBC news that the moon really was made of cheese, even then it would have been highly inconceivable to imagine myself ever meeting a beautiful art student with whom I would embark on something of a short-lived affair. Suggest to me the possibility that her father would own a hotel in the Bahamas, and that I would later go to bed with both her and her friend at the same time, then I would probably flap my arms as I ran in a circle squawking like a chicken, bemoan the price of snow, tell everyone that I was a pickled grapefruit and then hit myself on the head with a wok. If however, it had been predicted that I would get a job in a pub that would last less than a week because I would be unfairly dismissed by a fat, balding pig-slug of a man smelling of feet, then I would probably have simply shrugged my shoulders and said, 'Yup, that sounds about right!' and continued chomping on a biscuit. Oddly, this could actually describe with limited accuracy my relationship with a pub known as The Boater in the beautiful Roman city of Bath.
to be continued...
I would like to subscribe to the mailing list, enter the competition to win an e-copy of Volume Two and receive notification of the release of the hard copy of No stranger to the P45 and any forthcoming updates regarding the release of Volume Two (and perhaps Three). I am also receptive to receiving any other news... particularly if it is not too frequent, IS relevant, and perhaps involves Dan trying to promote his work through any third-party press or media that will inevitably result in his abject humiliation.