Synopsis
If you have ever wondered what it would be like to crash a fairground ride, upset the Russian mob, humiliate yourself before millions of people on national television, cause eleven thousand pounds damage to a restaurant in Blackpool as a result of your ineptitude with an industrial belt sander, be a bodyguard, make a movie with an A-list Hollywood actress, try to start a business in holographic confectionery, pole-dance, hang a lawnmower from a tree, receive a VIP tour of The Whitehouse, become a Born-Again Christian (for a bit), accidentally commit an armed robbery, be Santa Claus, become homeless after laundering twelve grand in Scottish hundred-pound notes from under your kitchen sink, learn to make weaponised plutonium, fall asleep on a push-bike, sell a pair of rusty skis, be sued over a fictional secret agent by an altogether terrifyingly real firm of international lawyers, hang twenty four thousand chickens on a rack, be pursued by the paparazzi, attend a fancy dress party as a serial killer, buy twenty five thousand terracotta flower pots for a pound, co-host a radio talk show, buy a crane, flee your home in fear of a gangster ordering your legs by snapped like Twiglets, experience a surreal time-travelling incident, mislabel boxes of creosote, throw-up on stage while trying to host a game show, learn to fly, escape an assassination attempt with the assistance of a cup of tea and a cheese sandwich, or be normal... then you're no longer alone.
Welcome to Danland.
Welcome to No stranger to the P45.
No stranger to the P45 is a memoir. It is a book of anecdotal reminiscences humorously describing each of the sixty-nine jobs, roles and vocations and the thirty-plus misadventures in business of the thirty-seven years of my life so far. It is a book about searching for a focus through those jobs, roles and vocations and through those misadventures in business and their accompanying incidents - incidents occasionally so utterly absurd (and once involving a flying crocodile) that the very question of reality is never far from the reader's mind. It is certainly never far from my own.
Sample
To read a sample of No stranger to the P45 please click HERE.
And to read a couple of reader comments click HERE.
If you don't wish to do either, here's a silly poem about a rabbit instead:
‘Twas midsummer’s morn and in a field, a little rabbit sat,
thinking of his life, and other things like that.
He thought of the clouds and of the fish in the sea,
and he thought of the fields and of the fridge in the tree.
‘A fridge? In a tree?’ said he, ‘Well what a funny sight!’
But with a CRACK it fell on him, and killed him dead - outright.
