Dan W.Griffin was born in Bath at 9.27 on the morning of June 26, 1972. It was a Monday. And it explains a lot.
Dan was first educated (a somewhat loose and inaccurate term) at Frome Community College and was later accepted by the University of Sunderland to study geology. Failing to study anything whatsoever over the next three years he was urged to leave the city by a gangster whose thugs wanted to snap his legs like Twiglets. He has since spent the best part of twenty years trying to figure out what on earth he is actually going to do with the rest of his life.
Over those twenty years, plus a considerable amount of time before, Dan has tried with varying levels of acute failure to pursue careers across a wide range of industries including catering, engineering, entertainment and logistics. He has tried burger-flipping and bar-tending, entrepreneurship and company directing. He has operated rides in amusement parks, sold advertising and failed to be remotely skilled in painting and decorating. Dan has also been a chauffeur, a White Van Man, a movie stand-in and a television extra.
In addition to these roles Dan has tried without success to become a product designer, a photographer, a radio talk show host and a salesman. He was a rubbish postman too, the worst-ever manager of a band very popular in Holland and an altogether appalling Santa Claus. He is currently attempting a similar level of achievement in his efforts to become a writer.
Dan began his inaccurately-termed 'writing career' as a student with his column for the student newspaper, The Student Times. With his first ever piece catching the attention of a number of solicitors and left-wing organisations, a few articles and a couple of unsuccessful lawsuits in, the paper was formally withdrawn from circulation. Dan is indeed no stranger to the P45.
Dan currently lives near Bath and is not married. He has never been married and has no wish to be married in the foreseeable future. His hobbies include: being tactful and sensitive about things, building ironically-platonic friendships with women, and bastardising the English language. A life-long writer of miscellaneous ramblings and Strongly Worded Letters, No stranger to the P45 is Dan's first remotely publishable work. It is also probably his last.
Click the P45 below to see my CV!